Adventures in car-buying

Really, I suppose this should be "Adventures in car research." It's technically more of a big thought experiment. We don't really need a new car, but a month or two ago, Joseph proposed researching new cars just so we would know what we wanted if we ever bought another car. There's nothing wrong with the car we have now, a 2003 Mitsubishi Lancer... except that there's a rusty bearing in the fan that causes the fan to be extra loud whenever it's turned on... and the belt slips sometimes before it's warmed up, resulting in the most awful, embarrassing, unearthly squeal whenever it starts up... and the temperature control knob was broken off from the center console, which means only a knowledgeable person in the driver's seat can change the temperature by reaching under the steering column and pulling the right lever... also, the front bumper is held on by zip ties and the paint is peeling horribly. So nothing seriously mechanically wrong, and it's zippy, gets good gas mileage, and holds us all pretty well, but it doesn't really do anything for one's ego to slip into it.

Of course, researching new cars to figure out which one you might want is a bit like sniffing and dissecting desserts to find out which one you might want to eat. Eventually, desire overcomes you and you just have to have it! So it looks like we're seriously thinking of buying a new (at least to us) car. Here are our criteria:

• NOT A MINIVAN
• Gets good gas mileage (20+ mpg city, at least)
• Safe and reliable
• Can fit two adults, a dog, and two kids in car seats, though we are open to the idea of having three kids someday, so we just set this criterion to: Can fit three car seats, just in case. (It turns out this is the limiting factor in our car decision)
• NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT LIKE A MINIVAN

Minivans seem to have polarized people. There are those who gracefully embrace the convenience that minivans offer and ignore the negative stereotypes, and there are those people who would literally drive their family around in any other vehicle. If you love your minivan, more power to you! They sound roomy and comfortable and convenient. Joseph and I happen to be in the latter group. We would travel by foot, bike, or camel before we owned a minivan. Joseph has even ruled out hatchbacks because "they're gateway vehicles to minivans." Also, I refuse to believe that just because we might consider having a third child one day, we automatically need a minivan. We've determined that our personal Hierarchy of Vehicle Styles is:

Minivan < bicycle < Wagon (like a Subaru Outback) < SUV < Hatchback < Mid-sized SUV < Compact SUV < Sedan (If we're honest, Sports Car, though they don't make those for families.)

After many weeks of researching online and test-driving vehicles, we determined that our perfect car actually doesn't exist, unless it is a Tesla Model X, which hasn't technically been produced yet, and is rumored to cost between $50,000-$80,000. So... we can consider that out of the running. (Though between us, if we had anything like the money for a Model X, Joseph and I would both buy it in a heartbeat.)

I can tell Joseph is serious about research when he creates equations, functions, and Excel spreadsheets for the numerical data we gather. He created some impressive equations and spreadsheets for our car-buying adventure. Based on his research about depreciation, etc., and based on the fact that we only really drive about 10,000 miles a year, we found the fuel economy of a vehicle to be a relatively unimportant financial consideration compared to depreciation. This indicated that a slightly used car would be best for us, even though it would of course be more fun to buy a brand new car. We started looking for cars that were fun and compact-looking. Compact SUVs became a topic of great discussion. The 2013 Ford Escape is definitely worth looking at. It has improved by leaps and bounds over previous models, and is now ranked at the top of its class in many areas. Of course, the Toyota Rav4 and Honda CR-V are always ranked at the top for C-SUVs. We test-drove some new models, researched old ones, and found...

...we liked them.

We really did. Which was a miracle considering how doubtful Joseph had been about anything other than a beefy sedan. But after getting into the back of some sedans and compact SUVs with a string to measure the rear seats and doing yet more research online, we found that the back seats of most compact SUVs are actually narrower than many sedans. There is no way the very sporty Mazda CX-5 could ever fit three car seats across. The Ford Escape, Toyota Rav4 and Honda CR-V might technically have the room to fit three car seats across the back row, but most of them have a weird buckle position for the center seat, so even with three slim car seats, it would be almost impossible to buckle them in the back together. 

Sadly, that ruled out compact SUVs. 

Our Plan B was having a sedan that could, in a pinch, fit three car seats in the back, and also having a three-row, seven-seater mid-sized SUV for times when we want to bring friends or the dog along. Unfortunately, as soon as you move to mid-sized SUVs, you're lucky to get 20 mpg. Fuel economy is not great. So factoring in fuel economy, reliability, and of course the all-important power under the hood (we both like something zippy), these were our options for mid-sized SUVs:

• Mazda CX-9
• Toyota Highlander
• Honda Pilot
• Toyota Highlander Hybrid (EPA avg 28 mpg?? Shut up!!)

Obviously we'd be looking for something a few years old. For sedans, we're looking at: 

• Chrysler 300 (Big enough to fit at least three mafia hit men in the back, so car seats should be no problem, though the fuel economy is unimpressive and the handling is supposed to be just okay.)
• Mazda 6 (Oh-so-sporty! The 2014 is supposed to get better gas mileage than the 2013, and rumor has it that a diesel version that will come out later this year, which should be interesting.)

Anticlimax: right now I don't know what we're going to do. Two cars is a lot to consider buying, though in all fairness our current sedan works just fine if your ego isn't very sensitive. What car do you drive? Why do you like it? What car would you drive your family in if money wasn't an issue?