Mommy Rules

I'm kind of stuck on my computer moving a mountain of pictures and videos of adorable children and the curiosities of everyday life from my iPhone onto a storage device so I can take yet more pictures of the cute, the mundane, and the I-don't-have-time-to-run-for-the-real-camera stuff. What that means for you is two posts in one night. That's right, tonight you reap the rewards of my inability to effectively use technology!

Unfortunately, this isn't real deep-thinking, soul-searching, truly touching blog post material. I'm just posting something I have on my bedroom wall. I wrote it when I was going through a period of more ungraceful mothering and subsequent nightly guilt, which happens approximately once a month for me (ahem). These are my mommy rules. Seeing it on my wall helps keep these foremost in my mind every day as I go to interact with my kids. Do any of you moms have other "rules" or guidelines for yourself?

Mommy Rules

1. Just say "yes" sometimes- I don't know if it's because I'm a firstborn or if I'm actually just controlling, but I find myself saying "no" to my kids a LOT because I don't want to be bothered with the hassle or mess of whatever they're requesting. If it's not going to result in serious injury, damage to property, and isn't against our established rules, I have to remember for all our sakes just to say "yes" when they ask if they can wash toy cars in the sink, play with the Tupperware, run around barefoot in the back yard, etc.
2. Every day, give each one a hug and a kiss for no reason at all- Occasionally I find myself so busy that I realize I haven't given them hugs or kisses, and it's amazing how much they light up when I remember. (And the reciprocal affection is pretty sweet too!)
3. Spend 5-10 minutes of one-on-one time with each child- This became harder once there were three children in the mix, but all of us seem to do better when I can connect with each child for at least a little while and get to know what's going on with them.
4. If you hear yourself YELLING or you are growling, constantly frustrated, or ready to pull your hair out, GO TO YOUR ROOM FOR MOMMY TIME OUT- It turns out the stresses of parenting bring out the very loud and yell-y side of my family. Simmering anger, a volcanic temper, and using a loud, angry voice are all some of my very prominent personal struggles that I have to fight (and often fail to control) multiple times a day. One way of coping with my temper when I'm feeling snappish is to just separate myself and the kids. When I feel angry, overwhelmed, and appalled by everything, I either send them to their room (or outside) to play or put something on for them to watch while I cool down in my room. Sometimes we just need a little time apart for mommy to calm down.
5. MODEL a cheerful heart and a good attitude- you are the person they're around most every day- a humbling, slightly terrifying truth. I can preach patience, kindness, forgiveness, and other virtues to my kids, but if I can't model them myself, my words don't mean anything.
6. Dance, sing, wrestle, or play with them- Because we all appreciate it when I take time to have fun with kids once in a while. 
7. Read the Bible every day- For keeping me grounded and for reminders of God's patience, strength, love, and expectations. Plus my oldest has a lot of questions these days about God and Jesus and I want to be able to answer them, and it's just good for the soul to be refreshed and challenged by God's words. 
8. Pray. A lot.- Because if these kids are going to grow up to be good, well-adjusted, contributing members of society, it is going to be because the God who made each member of our family moves in our lives in real and meaningful ways to keep us from being our worst selves all the livelong day, and not because of my skill as a mother. 

How we're doing, Part II

I didn't mean to leave all two of you with a negative post for so long! Some people have asked, so here's how we're doing now:

Better. LOTS better.

Within a few days of oral and topical antibiotics and some new wound care ideas, Diana's skin was healing up beautifully. The adult dose of Zyrtec seems to be keeping her from being too itchy, and we've moved from using a topical steroid cream every day into using it as a maintenance tool: maybe once or twice a week if her skin is starting to get really red and angry in areas. Mostly it just looks normal, like kids' skin should look. Even the raised, red itchy areas aren't as prevalent anymore. It doesn't help when she's really itchy, but Diana has a new appreciation for what happens if she scratches her skin instead of rubbing or scratching through her clothes and mostly tries to avoid it or ask for help. The spring pollen seems to be affecting her Reactive Airway Disorder (RAD)/asthma a little bit, but we have tools for managing that too, so overall Diana is doing great!

Liam leaped or fell off a sofa when no one was watching and managed to land on his elbow and fracture it, so we had about a week of a Liam in pain and practice wrapping and putting a tiny splint on a tiny arm. His visit to the orthopedic surgeon this week revealed that his fracture is healing up nicely, which we could have told anyone pretty easily since he's been running around and using his hand and arm and making it impossible to keep a splint or sling on him. He doesn't have to have a cast at this point. He does need to keep from injuring the elbow further or else he'll need a pin in it. It's pretty useless trying to explain that to a two year old boy, though. He's already tweaked his injured arm twice today wrestling with his sister, so if he doesn't end up with a pin in his elbow before his third birthday, it will be by virtue of the power of prayer and the grace of God.