A snapshot of late pregnancy

Hello! I'm dusting off this long-neglected blog again while the morning is still dark and the house is still quiet to share what's been on my mind lately, which is a snapshot of late pregnancy.

In just a few days I'll be 39 weeks along with our newest baby, which is significant because both my other boys were born just two days before the 40 week mark. So we'll hopefully be seeing this baby's sweet face soon.

Pregnancy is miraculous. Throughout it all, you can't help but feel that it was brilliantly designed by someone who knew what they were doing. For example, in the first trimester you can't eat or keep food down, presumably because this helps save you from food-borne illnesses, which would be much more harmful to a little baby before 12 weeks old. The same masterful design applies to the last two weeks or so of the last trimester. In this case, the object seems to be that the new mother will become so uncomfortable just existing in her own body that she would gladly endure childbirth, and that's really been the case for me.

Here I am, up a couple of hours before the kids because I can't sleep. Anyone who tells you to try to be "well-rested" before birth has never been pregnant. I don't know what woke me up exactly. It could have been my hips aching from having a heavy baby resting on them. It could have been getting up for the 20th time to use the bathroom. It could have been that when I got back in bed, my brain decided this would be a good time to puzzle out exactly where to put the infant car seat in the second row of our car and what I should get accomplished this weekend. In any case, I was lying awake long enough to get hungry because after all, I hadn't eaten in hours, and when I tried to ignore the feeling, a small someone began kicking, wiggling, and punching to remind me to get up and eat. At 5:30 AM.

This doesn't bode well for me today because now that I am HUGE, I naturally tire easily. The nesting instinct is real, and it has set in, so normally I'd bounce around the house clearing clutter, setting up baby gear, making freezer meals, and folding adorable baby laundry, but instead, I know I'm going to get one or two things done today and take breaks while I'm doing them, then be tired and cranky. Pregnancy is a beautiful time.

I don't really care that much about my weight because I know it all comes off eventually. With my first baby, I think I stayed on the low end of the recommended 25-35 lb weight gain. With my second, I was probably on the high end. The third pregnancy I think broke through that and this time I don't give it any thought as I don't end up weighing more than my husband. I would describe my body type at this point as "grumpy land-walrus waddling around the house trying to snack in peace." And you know what? This land-walrus don't care.

But the truth is there are lots of physical challenges that come with being heavier than I've ever been in my life. Some days I don't know if my pelvis and hips can actually still support me or if they'll just up and quit. I walk the same way I watched my older relatives get around when I was young: grimacing and hefting myself up (rest here to give the baby a minute to settle), then leaning to each side to swing the opposite leg around. Heaven forbid I should need to, say, run around after kids, change clothes or diapers, or bend down to pick/clean something up, or put on someone's shoe. Because with this pregnancy, I'm also dealing with pulled abdominal muscles and/or round ligament pain. I can't hurry anywhere, though I have found myself pulling off a light trot when it comes to whisking a child away from the road. I get out of breath doing simple things like doing the dishes or putting away groceries. Basically all I'm cut out for right now is bobbing in a warm-water pool for the remainder of this pregnancy. Joseph also snapped what he calls a portrait of late pregnancy, which is me sitting on a recliner chair looking at my phone and eating chocolate fudge brownie ice cream off a carton balanced on my belly. Don't judge.

This baby is healthy and growing, and that is real cause for celebration. He lets me know that he is outgrowing his home by stretching his feet into my ribs or extended episodes of trying to find the exit or punch his way out. My body lets me know it will soon be time for labor with Braxton-Hicks contractions that aren't joking around. And he lets me know that this is not cool by kicking, punching, and readjusting himself after every hard squeeze.

So basically everything about living and taking care of three kids, which is already a challenge, is more difficult because I feel like a large invalid, and you have been tricked into reading an entire post of whining (and that's just the stuff I can share in polite company). GRUMPY WALRUS DOESN'T CARE ABOUT YOUR TIME. I feel that I have two options at this point: having this baby soon or being pregnant forever. (If you contradict me, I will start crying because nonsensical feelings leading to tears are at an all-time high too because: PREGNANCY.) In this day and age, it is possible to send a person into space, but not to design clothes that will fit a pregnant woman in her third trimester, so I wear the same 2-3 outfits. My feet and I are in a long distance relationship. This is just not a fun time.

The last two weeks really are the hardest two weeks of pregnancy, BUT I am so very lucky. The place I live, my economic situation, and my family and friends all enable me to take it easy and enjoy myself as much as possible. I can be a grumpy walrus because I am treated like a queen by my husband, who works for our family all day and then still helps take care of the house and kids when he gets home. I am helped out by family members who watch kids or stop by just to bring gifts, and by friends who watch our kids so I can enjoy some last time with Joseph before a new baby. I am healthy enough to have the option of trying for a quiet birth at home with a midwife I know and trust. So far, this baby has given every indication of just being a healthy, growing baby trying out his body in preparation for living with us in the outside world. I don't have to work or do hard manual labor. I'm not starving, I'm part of a culture that values women. I am blessed surpassing reason in so many ways that it allows me to dwell on being a grumpy walrus, which actually makes me very happy indeed.

I know it's not a walrus, all right? Just go with it.

So I'm going to go make some pancakes now that it's time for kids to get up, then take a breather, then eat something other than pancakes so I don't ruin my blood sugar for the day because it feels bad and because my midwife is now IN MY MIND encouraging me to eat protein, spinach, and quinoa. Grumpy walrus OUT. Hopefully the next time I pop on here it will be after having a brand new baby.

Merry Christmas 2015

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

What a wonderful year we've had in 2015! As usual, we've managed to keep ourselves busy and as always, that includes traveling.

Spot the Sullivans in this family reunion picture...

Joseph went on a business trip to represent Active911 at a conference in Indianapolis in April, and then in May traveled for a week to northeastern Ukraine to learn more about the work of a charity that we're supporting called LifeSong. It would have been fun to go together and spend some time there, but we hadn't planned on an international trip this year and taking kids to the Ukraine didn't seem like the safest idea at the time. We also went on a family trip to Seaside, Oregon, where we visited the beautiful northern Oregon coast and Nichole lost sleep over mentally preparing for impending tsunamis. In August we went on a mini camping/road trip to California for a Cespedes Family Reunion where we visited many of Nichole's Guamanian relatives. We also traveled as a family to Washington, D.C. for another conference and to visit family friends, and to Illinois so Joseph could complete twin engine flight training to be able to fly our newest twin engine Cessna 340. That plane is currently housed in Ohio while awaiting repairs, so while we were in the area, we took a road trip in our rental car to Ohio to see the plane. Since we discovered in July that we'll be expecting yet another baby Sullivan (read more about that here), we are looking forward to a six seater aircraft with enough room for all of us. Until then, we've been having fun flying in the current four-seat Cessna 172.

This is what it looks like when
 three kids pack into the family plane
for a camping trip!

This year we took family flying trips to Sunriver, Oregon and to the Alvord Desert in southeastern Oregon for an overnight camping trip.
Somehow in the middle of all of that, we managed to fit in adding a second bathroom (Hallelujah!) to the house, finishing the landscaping, making unspeakable quantities of jam, swim lessons for the kids, and Joseph (and Nichole!) playing softball. And since we're clearly outgrowing our wonderful but small house, we've been trying to make some headway on building a house on the Neabeack Hill property. There have been many setbacks, but we believe we might actually be able to break ground sometime within the next few months.

Our Family

Diana

Showing off a snake.

Life with a four year old Diana has been glorious and exciting. She was our resident outdoorswoman this year. She loved to run outside first thing in the morning to explore the yard and help with the garden. She kept a rotating menagerie of pets, from garter snakes to ladybugs, crickets, pillbugs, worms, snails, and basically anything she could catch. She graduated from nap time to quiet time and shocked us with her creativity. With an hour or two of unsupervised time and access to some basic crafting tools, she made books, costumes, "soups," intricate block cities, paintings, luxurious houses for bugs, and beautiful pictures. We've been reading through Laura Ingalls Wilder's Little House books, which she loves. She enjoys science (which includes cooking), math, and writing. She's a natural leader who walks into any group of children and takes charge, and regardless of their age, they usually end up listening to her just because she's full of good ideas.

Liam

Liam is three years old with a heart of gold. He is fiercely loyal and protective of his family. He is loud, wild, silly, strong, single-minded, and in all other ways a three year old boy. His boundless energy led him to fall and fracture his elbow early in the year, but thankfully after a couple of weeks of trying to keep a splint/wrap on him, it healed up nicely. He started swim lessons and after a couple uncertain weeks, he warmed up to them and enjoys them. This year Liam has also discovered superheroes- his favorite is Superman. His current goal when he grows up is to become a mix of Superman, Daddy, Robin Hood, and a fireman. With his unlimited energy, strength, and heart, he just might be able to do it all!

Matthew

Matthew and Grandpa Cespedes

We've loved learning more about Matthew this year. He turned one in January, so he's hit lots of big milestones from walking (then running, jumping, and climbing) to talking. I love getting to know what's on a baby's mind when they start putting together words into sentences. He tells me about events that happened in the past, or what he wants to do, or what his siblings did when I was out of the room... He loves getting caught up playing with his siblings but is just as happy to play by himself when he's in the mood. He is very much an observant, focused engineer. He enjoys using his hands to figure out how to do and undo things like buckles, switches, latches, screw-top lids, etc. He will "do" and "undo" them repeatedly until he's mastered the skill. He also loves cleanliness and order, and if something is out of place and I take too long to fix it, he'll do it for me.

Joseph & Nichole

Enjoying our seventh anniversary
on Whidbey Island, WA.

Joseph is a man in perpetual motion. He is still involved in a handful of businesses to varying degrees, including Alyrica and Active911. He even oversaw the burning down of a house (as a training exercise!) to make a promotional video for Active911, which you can watch here. One of his exciting projects right now is working in robotics. He loves his work, which is one of the best things a man can ask for. He completed twin engine training and is working on his commercial pilot's license, which is another step on the way to getting certified as a flight instructor. When he's not busy working, playing softball, reading the works of Winston Churchill, studying for various flying exams, traveling, spending time with his family, or fixing up the house, Joseph can usually be found just flying around to stay proficient and trying some more complicated maneuvers to improve his skills as a pilot. 

As for me, this was going to be my year to start experimenting with volunteering/civic work or taking classes of some kind (possibly some flight training), but a new baby intervened and so those plans have been put on hold for a bit longer. Early this year I discovered canning, and the bounty of the Willamette Valley led me to adventures making more strawberry, boysenberry, marionberry, peach, blueberry, and cherry jam than we could ever possibly use. It's like bottling up sunshine for the dark, wet winter! I played a bit on the Alyrica/Active911 co-ed softball team this summer, which was enjoyable, but I think my talent still lies in swimming, not hand-eye coordination. I managed to revive my rusty piano playing skills and learn a few new pieces this year between travels. I'm also trying to figure out homeschooling. The kids are so eager to learn and I'm still discovering how to teach to their individual learning styles. 

We're so thankful for all the blessings (even the unexpected ones!) we've enjoyed this year. We look forward to a new year, a new baby, and new adventures in 2016!

Our whole family made it to the top of the Astoria Tower!

Getting ready to take off from the Alvord Desert.

.

The boys.

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The girls.

It's a....

Yep, I'm that mother posting embarrassing pictures. Sorry, son.

BOY!!!!!!!!!!

On Friday, October 30, we went to Portland for a full anatomy scan of our newest baby. As I mentioned before, we wanted to know the gender since we've done surprises before and we had gotten rid of all our baby girl gear. And we wanted to make sure everything was good and healthy.

We were able to see many things, but not his face. He's lying transverse (across my body) and facing my spine, so he didn't lend himself to many good pictures. I've got lots of pictures of his spine and abdomen and head, though. We did see very clearly that he is a little he. We also saw he is a healthy and wiggly little boy. All his measurements look good. I had been concerned because up until week 19, I wasn't really able to feel much movement. He's definitely moving, but because my placenta is anterior (in front) and he's facing my back, they're more difficult to feel. Now that we're in week 20, I'm feeling lots of kicking, stretching, and wiggling, particularly under my ribs since he's laying across me.

So how do I feel about having a little boy instead of having a little girl?

I've seen lots of articles recently by mothers of boys who reject the idea that they need a daughter for their family to be complete. I think that's just the way it should be- everyone should appreciate the children they have. I've had a little girl, though. I know babies are some of the most precious and special things in the world, and little girls somehow seem especially sweet. That's not to say that little boys are not charming, endearing, lovable, and sweet in their own way. It's just different. As a woman, raising a little girl is like getting to look at my childhood again from a different perspective. I want to guide her to become a woman who's stronger, smarter, and better than myself. Being able to raise and send a young woman into the world is a gift and a blessing. Since girls are so wonderful, am I disappointed that we're expecting a son and not a daughter?

No!

I will always look at baby girl outfits wistfully, with their roses and strawberries and pinkness. Fair warning: I am going to swoop up the very next niece that's born and just enjoy holding her. But I am so excited to be having a little boy! I can't wait to see his face and learn about his little personality. I can't wait to hold his warm and snuggly self and watch him become part of our family. I only have two sons, but it seems like they drive me to the brink of losing my mind and then disarm me with utter love and sweetness. Boys really are grand. I was cleaning Liam's hands today and suddenly realized they were bigger than the last time I really studied them. They were big boy hands. And I thought of some very tall teenage brothers I'd noticed in church the other week and realized that I'm going to have a crew of fine men one day with big hands and deep voices who all call me Mom. It was bittersweet. I love having these silly little boys for now, and I'll love having big sons too.

I know that a father is equally important for boys and girls. Diana has obviously benefited from having a great dad, but I think if we have more sons that are able to learn from Joseph and look up to him as a father, the world will just be a better place. As soon as we started dating, and especially after seeing the example that his own father set for him, I had no doubt that Joseph would be the best dad I could hope for if we ever got married and had kids. I have no problem with having another son to add to our circus. :)

It's likely that almost everyone who came to break the suspense left after that first picture, so I'll wrap up here. I'll also mention that our boy was measuring a few days ahead of my due date, so it is entirely possible that we'll have a St. Patrick's Day baby. And if that happens, Joseph has seriously proposed naming him Patrick, just to have a St. Patrick's Day Patrick. So the stakes are high. We currently have a short list of possible names, but we like to not settle on one until we meet our baby and decide if it fits him or not. If a name is what you're interested in, check back in March! :)

Baby Number Four Q&A

Baby bump at 13 weeks (when I finally
got around to taking a 3 month picture).

EXTRA! EXTRA! Read all about it! Those Sullivans are expecting baby number four!

Have you heard? We're going to have another baby! We can't stop, we won't stop, and now we'll have an even number of children running around again, which seems to be very important to some people. As we've been sharing our news with close friends, family, and a few observant strangers, we've noticed that people's reactions seem to fall into two categories:

"Yay!! You're having another baby! Congratulations!!" (We love telling these people baby news. And just about everything else.)

"Oh wow. [Another baby- isn't that just what you guys do every two years or so?]"

But happy or horrified, a few questions have been coming up frequently, so I thought I'd just address those right now.

Q. Was it a surprise? I thought you weren't going to have anymore!
A. Yes, we were also surprised. We don't believe that birth control is wrong, because God is powerful enough to determine the size of a family anyway if that's His plan. We've always prayed for God to intervene if our family was meant to be bigger, and he did. That's good enough for us, and we're thrilled.

Q. Where are you going to fit another baby in your house?
A. Lord willing, there should be some tangible progress on our house on Neabeack Hill soon, which will hopefully amount to a new, four bedroom house by early next year- ideally before I go into labor. If not, our babies usually spend a couple of months in a pack-n-play bassinet in our room anyway. They don't take up much space. And if the house is finished by the middle of or late next year, it might actually be easier than trying to pack and move with a very pregnant woman or a very young newborn.

Q. So are you done after this?
A. It's possible we may decide to create superintelligent life forms every two years for the next twenty years as part of our long-term plan for intergalactic domination. (But probably not.)

Q. What are you hoping for?
A. Really hoping for a human baby and not a velociraptor. Fingers crossed- three out of four isn't bad odds!

Q. Are you going to find out whether you're having a girl or a boy?
A. Yes. We've done the surprise thing, but this pregnancy seems very different from the last two, and we'd really like to know what we're expecting. Also, we gave away all our baby girl clothes, so if it's a girl, we have some preparing to do.

Q. You've got like a huge family now/ You're in for it now/  You're going to be so busy/ You're going to have your hands full/ I don't know how you're going to manage/ I could never imagine having so many kids/ How are you going to make time for them all?
A. Your concern for us is deeply touching. With four children and 12 waking hours in a day, we'll just have to allot three hours of parental attention and 1/4 of our love for each of them. It's the only thing that makes mathematical sense.

Q. When are you due?
A. Around St. Patrick's Day (March 18-22 +/- two weeks)

And that should just about cover it all. What? You've noticed that not all of them are actually questions? That's because, as a mother of three, I've noticed that strangers no longer have questions for me: only slightly shocked and pitying comments. If I had a dollar for every time someone told me "You've got your hands full," then all my children would have healthy college funds to look forward to on their 18th birthdays, instead of a hearty slap on the back and a "Best Wishes" card.

So for those of you who still care, here's what this pregnancy has been like: not at all like the others. For one thing, I'm not constantly angry. I've actually been mostly weepy. I have to choke back tears on the daily. Basically it's been twelve weeks of feeling all the feels, trying to avoid Ed Sheeran, wedding/proposal videos, and all movie trailers. Have you seen the trailer for The Good Dinosaur? That stupid thing gets me every time. The little boy just reminds me so much of my wild, brave, protective Liam, and I just want the best for all my kids, and THERE I GO AGAIN.

Honestly, at this point, you could probably show me a video of someone cleaning a house, and if you set it to some Florence and the Machine or Of Monsters and Men, I'd just dissolve into tears.

My last two pregnancies I distinctly craved meat and vegetables/ tangy flavors. Not so, this one. For a few weeks I struggled to find any food that seemed even remotely appetizing. Tomatoes were a no-go. They seemed (and still seem) disgusting to me, which means I picked the wrong year to plant six tomato bushes. When the nausea passed, I wanted comfort foods like broccoli, rice, and cheese casserole, or a really good macaroni and cheese, which is sad because for some reason my struggle this pregnancy is lactose intolerance. Each pregnancy has its own weird challenge, and for this one, it's dairy. I dream of one day eating chocolate, or drinking chocolate milkshakes, or eating anything with butter or cheese again. And not to be overly whiny, but do you realize that there's dairy on like everything? You can't order a salad without some kind of cheese on top of it or hidden in the dressing. Even if something doesn't appear to have any dairy in it, it's usually been cooked in butter. It's a bummer. All I want is Nutella and cheesecake, and I can't have either. FIRST WORLD TANTRUM.

We went to our first midwife appointment already and were able to hear the little whoosh-whoosh of a heart beating at 152 bpm. The kids really liked it. Diana is thrilled to have a new baby to help take care of, and Liam is incredibly excited too. Every day he talks about how he loves the new baby and all the ways he will help take care of it and his hopes for their wonderful relationship. (He and Matthew are going through a bit of a rough patch, so I think all his hopes for a docile and non-abusive sibling are pinned on this new baby.) Diana and I are currently reading Laura Ingalls Wilder's Little House books, so she thinks the baby is a girl and wants to name her Carrie. It's not currently on our shortlist, but she's trying to wear us down.

That's it. Keep checking here for baby updates. We'll probably be able to answer the boy/girl question in early November, for those who are interested.

Grandma Gail

My Grandma Gail is the only grandmother I've ever known on my mom's side of the family. As far as I remember, she has always been warm, kind, and cheerful. I haven't seen her very often- only once every five to ten years as she and my Grandpa live in Florida. I always thought of her as my "crafty" relative. She loved to crochet and in more recent years she began making elaborate cards for birthdays and holidays. She never missed even one. I have a pile of cards I've been collecting from her that sits on my counter as a reminder to finally call her. I don't think I've talked to her since Christmas, and since then she's sent a card for Matthew's birthday and one for Easter. It's her way of showing she cares, and I really do appreciate them, so I wanted to call her up and thank her.

I'll never get that chance. Two nights ago, my Grandma Gail suddenly and unexpectedly passed away.

This grief is strange, and in some ways too familiar. I guess I sometimes imagine what would happen if I lost a family member, and it's not like this. I feel a dull, confusing sadness. I wasn't terribly close to Gail, but she was my grandmother and I loved her. What are you supposed to feel when you lose someone you didn't know very well? This brings me back to the weeks following our miscarriage. We had known for about a week that I was pregnant, and suddenly our baby was gone; just long enough to begin to plan for this little new person's life and to feel disappointed and sad that none of those plans would come to fruition. We didn't know our baby well. We didn't even get much of a chance to envision their future. But we felt their loss, and for me it translated into a background sadness and depression or longing for a few weeks. It was confusing because it wasn't a deep, cutting grief and because everyone else went on as if nothing had happened at all.

I am sad that Gail is gone. I am sad for my Grandpa, who is now alone without much family nearby. I'm sad for her children. But more than that, I feel guilty. I hate talking on the phone, but I should have made the time to call my Grandma. I used the excuse of being busy, being tired, not having enough time for a full conversation, etc. I imagined I'd always have more time. Instead, Gail left this world without knowing how much I appreciate her cards.

If I could make that final call, I would tell her thank you- thank you for the cards that she put so much effort into making, and thank you for thinking of us. I'd thank her for caring. I'd send her more pictures of the kids. I'd tell her about the video I took just for her- of the kids' excited reactions when they opened up her Halloween card. I never got around to sending that video. I would have made the time to set up Skype so she could actually see the kids and talk to them. I'd just listen to her talk (she was so much more talkative than me!), knowing that listening is one of the greatest gifts you can give some people. I'd want her to know that she holds a special place in our special little family and she brightens our lives by reaching out to us with her cards and emails.

I wish I could have said goodbye, but it's too late to let my Grandma know I cared. I guess all I can do is avoid making the same mistake by letting people know how important they are when I have the chance.

Mommy Rules

I'm kind of stuck on my computer moving a mountain of pictures and videos of adorable children and the curiosities of everyday life from my iPhone onto a storage device so I can take yet more pictures of the cute, the mundane, and the I-don't-have-time-to-run-for-the-real-camera stuff. What that means for you is two posts in one night. That's right, tonight you reap the rewards of my inability to effectively use technology!

Unfortunately, this isn't real deep-thinking, soul-searching, truly touching blog post material. I'm just posting something I have on my bedroom wall. I wrote it when I was going through a period of more ungraceful mothering and subsequent nightly guilt, which happens approximately once a month for me (ahem). These are my mommy rules. Seeing it on my wall helps keep these foremost in my mind every day as I go to interact with my kids. Do any of you moms have other "rules" or guidelines for yourself?

Mommy Rules

1. Just say "yes" sometimes- I don't know if it's because I'm a firstborn or if I'm actually just controlling, but I find myself saying "no" to my kids a LOT because I don't want to be bothered with the hassle or mess of whatever they're requesting. If it's not going to result in serious injury, damage to property, and isn't against our established rules, I have to remember for all our sakes just to say "yes" when they ask if they can wash toy cars in the sink, play with the Tupperware, run around barefoot in the back yard, etc.
2. Every day, give each one a hug and a kiss for no reason at all- Occasionally I find myself so busy that I realize I haven't given them hugs or kisses, and it's amazing how much they light up when I remember. (And the reciprocal affection is pretty sweet too!)
3. Spend 5-10 minutes of one-on-one time with each child- This became harder once there were three children in the mix, but all of us seem to do better when I can connect with each child for at least a little while and get to know what's going on with them.
4. If you hear yourself YELLING or you are growling, constantly frustrated, or ready to pull your hair out, GO TO YOUR ROOM FOR MOMMY TIME OUT- It turns out the stresses of parenting bring out the very loud and yell-y side of my family. Simmering anger, a volcanic temper, and using a loud, angry voice are all some of my very prominent personal struggles that I have to fight (and often fail to control) multiple times a day. One way of coping with my temper when I'm feeling snappish is to just separate myself and the kids. When I feel angry, overwhelmed, and appalled by everything, I either send them to their room (or outside) to play or put something on for them to watch while I cool down in my room. Sometimes we just need a little time apart for mommy to calm down.
5. MODEL a cheerful heart and a good attitude- you are the person they're around most every day- a humbling, slightly terrifying truth. I can preach patience, kindness, forgiveness, and other virtues to my kids, but if I can't model them myself, my words don't mean anything.
6. Dance, sing, wrestle, or play with them- Because we all appreciate it when I take time to have fun with kids once in a while. 
7. Read the Bible every day- For keeping me grounded and for reminders of God's patience, strength, love, and expectations. Plus my oldest has a lot of questions these days about God and Jesus and I want to be able to answer them, and it's just good for the soul to be refreshed and challenged by God's words. 
8. Pray. A lot.- Because if these kids are going to grow up to be good, well-adjusted, contributing members of society, it is going to be because the God who made each member of our family moves in our lives in real and meaningful ways to keep us from being our worst selves all the livelong day, and not because of my skill as a mother. 

How we're doing, Part II

I didn't mean to leave all two of you with a negative post for so long! Some people have asked, so here's how we're doing now:

Better. LOTS better.

Within a few days of oral and topical antibiotics and some new wound care ideas, Diana's skin was healing up beautifully. The adult dose of Zyrtec seems to be keeping her from being too itchy, and we've moved from using a topical steroid cream every day into using it as a maintenance tool: maybe once or twice a week if her skin is starting to get really red and angry in areas. Mostly it just looks normal, like kids' skin should look. Even the raised, red itchy areas aren't as prevalent anymore. It doesn't help when she's really itchy, but Diana has a new appreciation for what happens if she scratches her skin instead of rubbing or scratching through her clothes and mostly tries to avoid it or ask for help. The spring pollen seems to be affecting her Reactive Airway Disorder (RAD)/asthma a little bit, but we have tools for managing that too, so overall Diana is doing great!

Liam leaped or fell off a sofa when no one was watching and managed to land on his elbow and fracture it, so we had about a week of a Liam in pain and practice wrapping and putting a tiny splint on a tiny arm. His visit to the orthopedic surgeon this week revealed that his fracture is healing up nicely, which we could have told anyone pretty easily since he's been running around and using his hand and arm and making it impossible to keep a splint or sling on him. He doesn't have to have a cast at this point. He does need to keep from injuring the elbow further or else he'll need a pin in it. It's pretty useless trying to explain that to a two year old boy, though. He's already tweaked his injured arm twice today wrestling with his sister, so if he doesn't end up with a pin in his elbow before his third birthday, it will be by virtue of the power of prayer and the grace of God.