A mother by any other name

People say when you become a mother you need to also be a nurse, teacher, etc. I never expected I'd need to become:

• A voice actor- What, you thought children would be interested in a hungry caterpillar just because it's brightly colored? This is my dream job anyway, so it's kind of fun.
• A crisis negotiator- Because sooner or later, every child will get themselves (and/or a sibling) stuck without being able to get out.
• A thief- You only need to try taking the beloved blanket/stuffed animal ONCE to commit yourself to a life of crime. Anything to avoid the apocalyptic scene that comes from blatantly putting it in the laundry.
• A psychic/crime scene investigator- You're not always in the room when the offence occurs, but you learn to piece together the evidence and sniff out guilt. It's easier when only one of the suspects is really mobile. Or when the first thing they say as you walk in the room to the crying baby is: "Hi Mommy! I did NOT hit Liam with the toy!"
• A distiller.... of information- In order to explain the water cycle, the solar system, or atomic bonding to a toddler, you need a great deal of education AND excellent communication skills. 
• A student- Of cooking, of scheduling play dates and outings, of nutrition, of skin conditions, of all manner of bodily excretions, of effective discipline and policy-making, of toddler-appropriate art.... Thank goodness for the internet. I look up and study dozens of different subjects each day. I decided to start a family instead of go to grad school right after college, but I assure you I'm still learning just as much. 
• An expert- Diana's eczema has taught me that I'm the expert when it comes to my child. I hate going to doctors, but in all fairness, I usually schedule an appointment when I'm at the end of my rope and want them to tell me the magic answer to our problems, as if they just know everything about eczema. I'm the one who is around these kids 24 hours a day. I'm the expert. I need to start acting like it.
• A pack mule/ Super Woman- I will carry in the sippy cup, the baby in car seat, my purse, the diaper bag, the mail, and the groceries, and I will do it ALL IN ONE TRIP because I'm too lazy to go out to the car a dozen times. 
• Less of an introvert- "Hey, mom-I've-never-met-before at the park! Want to talk about everything and anything having to do with our children because we're the only adults each other will see until our husbands come home at the end of the day? Super!! We're Best Buds!" I don't think this would have happened if I was regularly socializing with people who didn't whine at me so much.
• A wildlife photographer- In the December 2012 issue of National Geographic magazine, Mel White writes that an ornithologist (Edwin Scholes) and biologist (Tim Laman) "logged a total of over 2,000 hours simply sitting in blinds, waiting and watching" to capture stunning images of birds of paradise in New Guinea. I hope those men have children, because such patience is exactly what's required to capture that 30 second video I posted on YouTube. The problem with recording the same subjects is that they grow up so fast. By the time you're able to capture the Latest Cute Thing, it may have already morphed into something else. And, as Amber of Parenting, Illustrated with Crappy Pictures, puts it so well: the presence of a video camera immediately eradicates any talent they were JUST demonstrating.
• An interpreter- "Eddo da!" = "Hello, daddy!"in nine-month-old speak. "Rara!" = "Hungry!" (I don't know why.) And if my toddler starts chirping at you a mile a minute in her voice that's three octaves higher than the average human can hear, it's probably because she's telling you something happy. Heaven help you if she has turned into a kitty. (Kitty voices are an extra octave higher than that.) It's really like being able to decipher the squeaks of dolphins. 

Diana's Eczema

Even itchy girls can be princesses!

Diana's skin is very definitely improving from last week. This is wonderful, but frustrating because we don't know what set her off in the first place or why her skin is mysteriously getting better. I'm still playing with the amount of wheat she can have, so we've probably let her have more wheat this week than she ought to, as I've noticed her nose is becoming stuffy again. Strangely, her skin still feels better and softer (more like healthy, normal skin), though it's still very itchy. It hardly makes sense since I thought wheat made her skin rougher. Again, her skin quality and itchiness seem completely disconnected. I fully expect her eczema to take a turn again before I figure out the reason why, but I'm trying to enjoy this time of better skin quality while it lasts! We'll be trying potty training again this week and I may ease off on wearing her tights under her pants, at least unless she starts scratching her ankles too much.