Next Baby

Stop! It's a trap!

You probably followed this link here from Facebook, thinking you'd read about how I've been feeling physically this past twelve weeks. On that subject, Liz Lemon said it best, because she says everything best: "Oh, little achy and nauseous, but I'm hanging in there." We'll get to that in a few paragraphs. (I saw you, you were just going to skip down a few paragraphs and see if you could find the non-hormonal and ranty stuff. Forget it, buddy.)

Instead, I'm going to address how I'm feeling that I'm pregnant, because that seems to be a much more important issue. 

When we had Liam, we would have been just as thrilled if he'd been a girl, but instead we got our Liam boy. It was great. And apparently, we'd won the genetic lottery, or so EVERYONE told us. Friends, acquaintances, and especially complete strangers would congratulate us. "How wonderful," they said, "you have a girl and a boy! Now you can be done!" It's a little gratifying to be congratulated, but also puzzling. Now we can be done? Sometimes it was much more certain. "Oh good. You're done!" Joseph even had a stranger say it almost as an order, as if we shouldn't have any more children. 

I don't go in for conspiracy theories, and I don't believe there's a war on large families, but why is two children the perfect number? Joseph's family is one of the happiest I've ever met and there are 13 children. (P.S. Thirteen is not the number we're shooting for.) Adjusting to two children was exponentially harder than adjusting to one. It was a real challenge for the first few months. Sometimes it's still a challenge, and Joseph and I weren't certain that we were ready to be outnumbered, because the chaos of dinner and bedtime is so much easier when we can each take one child, or if I can help/carry/care for one child with each hand. But as Liam grew up and needed less babying, we wondered if a family with just two children would seem small. 

We've been uncertain about the idea of growing our family for a while now, and most of our friends and family knew it, so maybe that threw some people off. But it has become very apparent that with this pregnancy we have stepped from the sparkling pedestal of family-of-four bliss to the realm of "You idiots, you just ruined your lives." It's uncanny. It's actually quite baffling. Some of the first reactions I received when revealing I was pregnant were "Congratulations, I guess. You know it's going to get a lot harder," and "I'm sorry this happened to you at such a busy time."

Can I just take a moment to address those thoughts? "You know it's going to get a lot harder"??? Really?? I had no idea! I'm already pregnant, so what on earth did they suppose I was going to do about it at that point?? I think I replied, "Well, we'll handle it." What else can I do except handle it? "I'm sorry this happened to you"?? I'm not! This isn't a disease, this is a baby! Soon it will be just like the adorable kids I have running around me. 

Those are easily the most extreme responses, but they aren't uncommon. Strangers don't congratulate us now. When people hear we're expecting, the reply is "Oh!....." occasionally with some weak fake enthusiasm.

There have been some people that were genuinely happy for us, and we appreciate every one of them. If you were one of those people, thank you. Parenting is hard enough without getting any negativity. Even if parents seem completely fine, cheerful support is always appreciated. 

So for both of you still reading at this point, I would like to address some very important points about this pregnancy:

This baby is wanted, loved, and expected.

This baby was given to us by God, created in the image of God, and as an amazing gift to us, it is a combination of us: two people who love each other deeply. How amazing! How lucky we are! Of course we love this baby. From the moment we knew we were expecting another baby, it was a welcome member of our family. Sure, we're not sure how it will be adjusting to three kids, but we'll manage it, and the chaos and uncertainty doesn't mean we love any of our kids less. Also, it always baffles me when married people are asked "So was [your baby] a surprise?" Since marriage involves sex and since sex makes babies... and since no birth control is 100% effective... can any baby be completely a surprise? Really? We're two intelligent people who know how this works. This baby was not a surprise, nor an accident. We hadn't made up our minds about having more kids, so we knew it was only a matter of time before I got pregnant again, and we were both okay with that. 

Q: "What are you hoping for??"

A: A healthy baby. A genius would be nice. Somehow we need to vicariously live out our dreams of Rhodes
Scholarship. (I'm going to be disappointed with one gender or another? Come on, there are so many more important things to worry about.)

And that's pretty much it. I've been holding all that hormonal ranting in for eight weeks now. You're welcome. If you're one of the two people who had the time and/or stamina to read this post to the end, well done! Now we get to the more mundane stuff:

With the third pregnancy, you don't get a lot of time to focus on being pregnant. Weeks 8-11 were pretty rough for me. I was really tired all the time and nauseous, especially in the evening. The smell of raw onions made me gag. I didn't feel like eating anything at all, though I usually felt better if I had something plain. Preggie Pop Drops saved me for those few weeks. Initially I craved LOTS of red meat, which makes Joseph think this baby must be a boy, but after that it was mostly carbs and sodium. I ate lots of sour cream and onion chips, ramen, pasta, and chicken nuggets. I know it's not healthy, but when the thought of most food makes you sick, you go with what you can. I'm feeling almost back to normal now, though Pinterest with all its pictures of food still sometimes makes me nauseous. 

That's all, folks. I'm already feeling healthier going into this pregnancy than I did with Liam, and I got more time to recover and enjoy my baby, so that was a nice vacation from being pregnant. I'm due January 24 (give or take two weeks, of course), at which point Diana will be three and Liam will be almost two (20 months). Keep checking back for more pregnancy updates. 

Liam is one!

Liam on the day of his birthday. Enjoying dirt, sunshine, fresh air, and hose water.

Liam's first birthday setup. It got so much messier once we added the birthday boy. :)

(Actually, Liam's birthday was on May 26, but I get around to posting when I can. Sometimes that's three weeks late.)
It's hard to believe that we've already gotten to spend a year with Liam! I went back and read my old blog posts because in the haze of sleeplessness and chaos, sometimes it's easy to forget the newborn days. He certainly has changed a lot!

Liam may have started out quietly, content to just look around and learn about the world, but that is certainly not Liam now. He is loud. No, he is LOUD like you wouldn't believe. I've never heard babies with this kind of volume. When he wants to be heard, or sometimes when he's just happy or excited, he BELLOWS. He can be heard outside across parking lots or in busy grocery stores. There is no mistaking Liam. He gets it from the Cespedes side, which he still very strongly resembles in looks. My guess is it comes from the Filipino side of the family, but all I know is the boy has lung power, and if he doesn't do something with it when he grows up (Singer? Actor? Coach? Drill sergeant?) it will be a waste of natural talent. Can you imagine if he had Filipino lung power and his dad's Welsh singing voice? That would be amazing!

Liam with his "mouth blanket," so named because
it's almost always in his mouth (and it smells like it!)
He wads it up in his mouth and
sucks on the silky edges like a pacifier.

Liam has a drop-dead gorgeous smile, the kind that makes older ladies stop to complement him all the time. He is very free with it too. He is shy with people at first, so he'll do a bashful smile and hide his face in my shoulder. He seems to have topped out at eight teeth for the time being. His eyes are giant and just incredibly, beautifully deep blue. He drools like a faucet. It never stops. He really hasn't grown much in weight since his six-month checkup, though he may be starting to stretch out a bit. Almost all Liam's development in the past few months has been cognitive, and it really shows!

Liam doesn't talk much, certainly not nearly as much as Diana did at his age. He can say "Mama," "Dada," "Dana," "dog," "cracker," and "TOAT!!!" pretty well. ("Toat" = toast, but it's always said with utmost excitement because it is one of his favorite things.) He gets along very well with hand gestures and monosyllables. I can almost always understand if he's gesturing for rice, Goldfish crackers, graham crackers, his water cup, his blanket, a book, etc. He very obviously understands what we say, though. If I ask him what he has in his mouth (there is almost always something), he'll smile at me and fish it out, then put it right back in. I can even tell him to give a toy to the dog and he'll comply without hesitation. He's a wiggly boy who doesn't like to hold still, so he's always standing up in his high chair. I just have to tell him to "sit down" and he does... at least for a moment, and then he stands up and starts jigging again in a happy, rascally way. I've taught him some unofficial sign language, waving his hands back and forth for "all done" (eating) and opening and closing his hands if he wants more of something. He picked it up pretty quickly.

And oh, does this boy have personality! He is always on the go now that he can crawl, pull himself up, walk along things, and walks while holding on to people's hands. He loves getting into everything, sometimes with the help of his sister, who he simultaneously idolizes and loves to antagonize. He loves to laugh. He loves playing with everyone and wrestling and roughhousing with daddy. He will happily go off and play with other kids (he adores big kids!), but if he's been apart from me too long, he'll crawl back for a quick reassuring snuggle and then go back to play. He rarely has patience for an entire book, especially when Big Sister is so much more interesting, but sometimes he'll just pull out book after book from his shelf and hand them to me with lots of energy and a "DA! DA!" that clearly means he wants to read a book. Mostly books keep his attention if there are lots of sound effects and hand gestures that go with them, and even then he only has the patience for a few pages. He may not speak much, but he does love making sounds for everything. If you hand him a toy car, he gets a fond, knowing twinkle in his eye and a little half-smile and he starts driving it around making car sounds. He indicates dogs by making a high-pitched bark, which is usually followed by a "shhhh!" and putting a little finger up his nose (to imitate us laying a finger in front of our lips) since barking dogs are almost always shushed. He likes making buzzing sounds for bees or flies. He's even invented a raspberry-like sound whenever I pick up a Kleenex since with allergy season I'm always blowing my nose.

Liam's eczema is virtually gone now that we've pinpointed most of the causes. When I was nursing him, too much dairy set it off. Now it mostly just appears to be acidic foods. If he eats anything with tomatoes, parmesan cheese, grapes, oranges, strawberries, peaches, craisins, lemon, etc. he'll break out. It's so much more manageable than Diana's eczema since we know what to avoid. If he eats contaminated food, he'll get some red bumps on his cheeks or look like he's been punched in the eyes and start scratching at his face, but it usually fades after a day. People mostly don't even notice he has eczema. I think his is a little more common for kids and I'm confident he'll outgrow it. He's also pretty allergic (though thankfully not anaphylactic) when it comes to peanuts, so it looks like we'll just never have peanut butter or peanut oil in our house again. Lol!

We certainly have a fun little boy. I've loved enjoying him as my "baby" this past year, and I can't wait to see how much he will grow and change in the next year.

Adventures in car-buying

Really, I suppose this should be "Adventures in car research." It's technically more of a big thought experiment. We don't really need a new car, but a month or two ago, Joseph proposed researching new cars just so we would know what we wanted if we ever bought another car. There's nothing wrong with the car we have now, a 2003 Mitsubishi Lancer... except that there's a rusty bearing in the fan that causes the fan to be extra loud whenever it's turned on... and the belt slips sometimes before it's warmed up, resulting in the most awful, embarrassing, unearthly squeal whenever it starts up... and the temperature control knob was broken off from the center console, which means only a knowledgeable person in the driver's seat can change the temperature by reaching under the steering column and pulling the right lever... also, the front bumper is held on by zip ties and the paint is peeling horribly. So nothing seriously mechanically wrong, and it's zippy, gets good gas mileage, and holds us all pretty well, but it doesn't really do anything for one's ego to slip into it.

Of course, researching new cars to figure out which one you might want is a bit like sniffing and dissecting desserts to find out which one you might want to eat. Eventually, desire overcomes you and you just have to have it! So it looks like we're seriously thinking of buying a new (at least to us) car. Here are our criteria:

• NOT A MINIVAN
• Gets good gas mileage (20+ mpg city, at least)
• Safe and reliable
• Can fit two adults, a dog, and two kids in car seats, though we are open to the idea of having three kids someday, so we just set this criterion to: Can fit three car seats, just in case. (It turns out this is the limiting factor in our car decision)
• NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT LIKE A MINIVAN

Minivans seem to have polarized people. There are those who gracefully embrace the convenience that minivans offer and ignore the negative stereotypes, and there are those people who would literally drive their family around in any other vehicle. If you love your minivan, more power to you! They sound roomy and comfortable and convenient. Joseph and I happen to be in the latter group. We would travel by foot, bike, or camel before we owned a minivan. Joseph has even ruled out hatchbacks because "they're gateway vehicles to minivans." Also, I refuse to believe that just because we might consider having a third child one day, we automatically need a minivan. We've determined that our personal Hierarchy of Vehicle Styles is:

Minivan < bicycle < Wagon (like a Subaru Outback) < SUV < Hatchback < Mid-sized SUV < Compact SUV < Sedan (If we're honest, Sports Car, though they don't make those for families.)

After many weeks of researching online and test-driving vehicles, we determined that our perfect car actually doesn't exist, unless it is a Tesla Model X, which hasn't technically been produced yet, and is rumored to cost between $50,000-$80,000. So... we can consider that out of the running. (Though between us, if we had anything like the money for a Model X, Joseph and I would both buy it in a heartbeat.)

I can tell Joseph is serious about research when he creates equations, functions, and Excel spreadsheets for the numerical data we gather. He created some impressive equations and spreadsheets for our car-buying adventure. Based on his research about depreciation, etc., and based on the fact that we only really drive about 10,000 miles a year, we found the fuel economy of a vehicle to be a relatively unimportant financial consideration compared to depreciation. This indicated that a slightly used car would be best for us, even though it would of course be more fun to buy a brand new car. We started looking for cars that were fun and compact-looking. Compact SUVs became a topic of great discussion. The 2013 Ford Escape is definitely worth looking at. It has improved by leaps and bounds over previous models, and is now ranked at the top of its class in many areas. Of course, the Toyota Rav4 and Honda CR-V are always ranked at the top for C-SUVs. We test-drove some new models, researched old ones, and found...

...we liked them.

We really did. Which was a miracle considering how doubtful Joseph had been about anything other than a beefy sedan. But after getting into the back of some sedans and compact SUVs with a string to measure the rear seats and doing yet more research online, we found that the back seats of most compact SUVs are actually narrower than many sedans. There is no way the very sporty Mazda CX-5 could ever fit three car seats across. The Ford Escape, Toyota Rav4 and Honda CR-V might technically have the room to fit three car seats across the back row, but most of them have a weird buckle position for the center seat, so even with three slim car seats, it would be almost impossible to buckle them in the back together. 

Sadly, that ruled out compact SUVs. 

Our Plan B was having a sedan that could, in a pinch, fit three car seats in the back, and also having a three-row, seven-seater mid-sized SUV for times when we want to bring friends or the dog along. Unfortunately, as soon as you move to mid-sized SUVs, you're lucky to get 20 mpg. Fuel economy is not great. So factoring in fuel economy, reliability, and of course the all-important power under the hood (we both like something zippy), these were our options for mid-sized SUVs:

• Mazda CX-9
• Toyota Highlander
• Honda Pilot
• Toyota Highlander Hybrid (EPA avg 28 mpg?? Shut up!!)

Obviously we'd be looking for something a few years old. For sedans, we're looking at: 

• Chrysler 300 (Big enough to fit at least three mafia hit men in the back, so car seats should be no problem, though the fuel economy is unimpressive and the handling is supposed to be just okay.)
• Mazda 6 (Oh-so-sporty! The 2014 is supposed to get better gas mileage than the 2013, and rumor has it that a diesel version that will come out later this year, which should be interesting.)

Anticlimax: right now I don't know what we're going to do. Two cars is a lot to consider buying, though in all fairness our current sedan works just fine if your ego isn't very sensitive. What car do you drive? Why do you like it? What car would you drive your family in if money wasn't an issue?

Clarification

To be clear, a lot of nice people that I love have sweetly and gently suggested that the dog might be the problem because they're sweet people. I don't mind that. Goodness, I couldn't have even begun to imagine all the things a human being could be sensitive to or that could cause eczema, so I depend on people's ideas and suggestions to know where to begin treating Diana. If there's one thing I've learned for certain, it's that everyone's eczema is different, so it becomes a little disheartening that avoiding (or using) the same foods, soaps, and lotions that completely cured other people's eczema hasn't healed Diana's, and I suppose that leads to a good amount of skepticism whenever people give me suggestions. But hey, the people who gently suggested that she might have been allergic to the dog  ended up being right in the end. ;)

I still don't know what this means for Diana's eczema. We'll go see the allergist again soon. Her skin has on its own gotten much better. Sunshine and the Aveeno Eczema Therapy Cream seem to help with that up to a certain point. Right now it's just incredibly dry- covered with layers of super dry skin that's almost like light sandpaper. It's not very red, though, and it seems to be healing overall. These breaks are always so nice. She does still seem to be moderately itchy, but it's not as bad as it has been. She's also getting to the age where we can begin to suggest substitutes for scratching. We ask her to rub her skin instead of scratching it. Or if we can, we rub her legs, neck, or wrists ourselves and she seems mostly satisfied with that. I'm hoping there are very few more years that her eczema will be a serious problem. Growing up does seem to help even just a little bit.

The results are in... Part II: No, really!

I'm sorry I cut you off with the last post before revealing anything. I'm very wordy in print.

If you skipped the last post just because you saw there was a Part II and guessed the surprise ending, you are a perceptive but terrible person. I bet you peek at the endings of books too.

We've tried Cetaphil, Cetaphil Anti-Itch Lotion, Burt's Bees, Cerave, normal Aveeno lotion, and Aveeno Eczema Therapy cream on Diana. We've tried coconut oil, sunflower oil and even emu oil. (I still want to know how they extract oil from emus.) We've tried Vaseline and Aquaphor. We've tried 1% and 2.5% hydrocortisone, as well as "moderate" and "strong" topical steroids, whose names I don't remember. This list seems short, so I know I'm forgetting some, but basically, we've tried everything we can think of. I've changed our laundry soap and household cleaners multiple times, as well as all my soaps and cosmetics. Mostly, we've had two and a half years of red rashes from allergic reactions to new soaps or moisturizers. The only thing that seems to help a little is Aveeno Eczema Therapy Cream, but since it has some alcohol in it, we can't use it where there are scabs on Diana's skin. When her skin got bad a couple of weeks ago, that was basically all over her body.

The allergy clinic gave me the results of Diana's blood panel over the phone. Hallelujah! Hooray!

And they were as follows:

Diana had a strong reaction to: cats, dogs, and peanuts.
She had a moderate reaction to cow's milk and egg whites.
She had a low reaction (which may not manifest as a sensitivity at all) to soy and tree nuts.

My first reaction was relief. Thank goodness! We had some idea of what we were dealing with, and there was scientific evidence to back it up. I've always suspected cow's milk and egg whites, but couldn't get a strong correlation between those and her eczema during our elimination diet. My second reaction was: "Rats." Only partly because we have a dog in the house. My motivation might have been a little selfish. I don't like being told "I told you so." People always ask, "Could she be allergic to the dog?" and it drives me nuts. Usually they do it gently, as if they're breaking bad news to me. As if I hadn't considered she might be allergic to the giant walking allergen in our house? Or as if I was so emotionally attached to the big dumb (but sweet and loving!) dog that I would have any kind of pang of conscience over throwing her out if I knew it affected my daughter's health? We've never had any concrete evidence that Diana's eczema was related to the dog. So I feared that the first reaction I would get would be "Well, I told you so," and I knew that the question immediately following it would be "What are you going to do with the dog?" And I really don't know. We're still talking about it.

So now we know that Diana is allergic to something she's exposed to in our house 24 hours a day. Something that is leaving extra hair everywhere because it's shedding season. You know what that means, don't you?

Nothing.

That's right. In terms of her eczema, it means basically nothing.

Really, though, we knew that. We've traveled away from the house with variable effects on Diana's skin. We were between dogs for a while and her skin was still bad. It turns out, allergies and the causes for eczema can be entirely different. Here's a very stream-of-consciousness transcript of a talk by Dr. Harvey Leo of St. Joseph Medical Hospital on that topic. Eczema like Diana's is a combination of genetic susceptibility and environmental factors. Even if we got rid of our dog (and here are some interesting stories from dog-allergic families whose eczema didn't clear up after getting rid of dogs), Diana would still have eczema. She has an allergic response to the dog, an immune system response, that would probably manifest as itchy eyes, runny nose, etc. when she touches the dog or rubs her face in her fur: something we've already seen and know how to treat. But her dog allergy and her eczema are separate things. Also- surprise!- a study by researchers at the University of Cincinnati found that children with eczema may actually benefit from living with a dog! (Technical abstract here, summary news article here.)

We'll be meeting with the allergist again this week to talk about what her results mean. For the sake of thoroughness, we'll probably try having the dog stay elsewhere for a while. She's a nice dog, but I have too much on my plate to be really emotionally attached to her, so I would have no problem being a dog-free family. But unless it will positively affect Diana, I don't see a reason to get rid of the dog when there is only a correlation between Diana having eczema and our family owning a dog. The nurse at the allergy clinic suggested that the doctor might ask us to try another elimination diet (goody) with cow's milk and then egg whites to see if that affects Diana. Since our first elimination diet didn't reveal anything, I'm guessing we won't see much improvement in Diana's skin. I suppose in reality we'll probably just end up waiting this one out until Diana grows out of her eczema. There are so many factors I wonder if we'll ever find them all. I hate eczema.

(On that note, can I take a moment to vent that I am always the one taking the blame for Diana's eczema?? Of course it doesn't matter really, but I've had so many people ask about her skin, because that's the first thing strangers ALWAYS say to me, and then comment, "Well, you're so fair-skinned, it probably runs in your family..." FALSE! NO! Not me! I'm even mixed, for Pete's sake! You can take your disapproving stares to my tan-but-completely-Caucasian husband! Oh, genetics are a hilarious and nonsensical game.)

The results are in.... Part I

(But first, the backstory.)

It's been about two months since I last posted and it has been a crazy ride. A week or two before Easter, Diana's skin magically cleared up. No redness! No itching, even when she had the opportunity! It was a miracle! I'm always glad for these surprise improvements in her skin, but I know that it's just a cloud break- eventually coaches turn back into pumpkins and Diana's skin goes back to being itchy. Our prayers are still being answered- we are continually getting new insights into trouble factors and meeting people with new, helpful ideas about her skin. God is still faithful, even though she's not completely healed yet.

With the break in itchiness, we started really potty-training, which she took to like a dream. There was no reason to put ourselves through heartache when she was 18 months old. She just got it this time. Within a couple weeks she was almost completely potty trained at home. For the most part, she doesn't like diapers anymore and she can go through naps and public outings without any accidents! Hooray!

Sure enough, around Easter Diana started itching again. Our week or two of sunny weather became cloudy again. (You can count on clouds in western Oregon until about July.) And with the clouds came the redness and itchiness. We've developed an emergency protocol for Diana's skin. When it gets bad, she takes a shower every night (sitting in a bath gives the opportunity for scratching already damaged skin) and gets her face and hands wiped with a warm, wet rag every morning and when necessary during the day. We slather on Vaseline as if she's about to go open-water swimming and try to keep her covered in long sleeves and tights. Yes, we know what to do when the getting gets bad. But this time, it got REALLY bad. She couldn't stop scratching for anything. We tried to keep her covered up, but now there's the confounding factor of potty time: 5-15 minutes at a time of just sitting on the potty with her legs exposed usually scratching up a storm. If she can't get to her legs, she goes for her belly and back. If she can't get to that, she goes for her wrists and neck. If she can't get to those for some reason, she goes for her cheeks. This time, about 80% of her body was covered in little scabs from scratching until she bled EVERYWHERE. And because there were scabs, it hurt to put anything on her skin- even water. So Diana's bedtime routine became one of a child screaming bloody murder as we showered her and slathered oil (to moisturize) and then Vaseline (to lock in moisture) on her skin before putting on her PJs. It helps to think that you're just doing it for her own good and she doesn't know that you're actually doing the best thing for her skin, but with enough screaming, it becomes a jaw-clenching, soul-tiring routine. Suddenly our girl who loved water won't go near it, which is sad to me. She didn't sleep well at night, and every time she woke up she would scratch. We tried probiotics (though in retrospect, maybe not the right kinds) and apple cider vinegar or bleach baths to combat the yeast component, but it didn't seem to do any good for the rest of her skin.

It got so bad that I made an appointment to see our family doctor, who Diana had never seen. As "luck" would have it, she got a bad cold that was heading toward pneumonia again, so Joseph ended up taking Diana to Urgent Care where she met Dr. Sharp, who works in the same building. A few weeks later we were back to talk to him about her eczema. It was a wonderful visit. He listened to me! He listened to my story of Diana's eczema and ALL the things we'd tried! He had suggestions- new suggestions!- not just the same old bleach bath and moisturizing cream lecture. He explained eczema to me and referenced current medical literature (that I'd read!). It was wonderful. Unfortunately, his suggestion of sunflower oil and Cerave lotion didn't work for Diana's skin, but we switched her antihistamine to children's Zyrtec instead of a double dose of children's Claritin and it seemed to lessen her itchiness a bit.

He sent us to an allergist who didn't have any new ideas about what could be causing Diana's problems, but she ordered a blood panel, which meant my brave little girl had to unknowingly go to her first blood draw. Obviously I didn't really explain what was happening to her beforehand because I didn't want her to panic. She was so sad (what a terrible surprise!) but did very well and didn't try to move her arm around at all. Poor poor thing. I hoped it would be worth it to have an idea what she's ACTUALLY allergic to. We've had so many theories over the years and we need some concrete answers to work with.

[Fade to black.]
Surprise! Come back for the next post. This one is long enough.

Thank you!

I wanted to say a quick thank you to everyone who has been praying about Diana's skin! It is SO much better than it was a few weeks ago. It had really reached a new low at that point. It can be a little volatile still and it can fall apart within a day, but we're (still) learning new things to help cope, and it's generally better than it was.

Joseph and I have both noticed that Diana's itching is definitely stress-related, and sometimes it's just something she does out of habit. Normally when her skin is very bad, we don't ask her not to scratch because it just seems cruel and I've heard it's basically uncontrollable when eczema flares up. But since her skin is so much better, Joseph has found that he can ask her to put her hands together when he changes her diaper or puts moisturizer on her legs and she has no problem. This morning while changing her I noticed that it was easier than normal because she wasn't scratching at all! She just didn't need to. However, if she becomes distressed (can't find something, doesn't want to do something, I'm frustrated, she's in a loud/new place with people she doesn't know, etc.) her hands go straight for her back or neck and she starts scratching.

We've fit Diana's gluten sensitivity into our lifestyle and now it's pretty easy for me to keep her mostly away from any wheat. The next thing I need is to decide whether I'm going to really throw myself into kicking detergents out of our lives. It's a big step. There would be a lot of work involved in ridding our house of dust and detergent residues and converting all our products to detergent-free, then readjusting for the kids' skin sensitivities to different brands of products. Detergents and detergent-like substances are in EVERYTHING from household cleaners to pet flea medication to sunscreen and shampoo and soap and even fruit juice. I tend to think of Diana's eczema being related to genetics and sometimes I hope I'm just buying time before it magically goes away. That may happen, but Carrie pointed me toward this post which suggests that people with genetic eczema may be sensitive to detergents. It can't hurt to give it a try!

We (and I know some of you!) have been praying and asking God to heal Diana's skin and give us wisdom to know how to help her. I really feel like He's answered our prayers. Not only is Diana's skin improving, but we're finding out new information about eczema and suddenly coming up with new coping strategies to help her. The last time her eczema changed dramatically was when our friends the Fallons prayed over Diana as a little baby and asked God to heal her skin. Within a couple of weeks, her eczema disappeared from her cheeks and the insides of her elbows and lessened on the inside of her knees. Prayer is powerful, and God has been good to our little girl. We just need to keep praying for help and wisdom! It's entirely possible that her skin will start falling apart again, but it's incredibly reassuring to know that God is willing to help a little girl with itchy skin. Whenever I forget, I'm reminded that we serve a gracious, loving, living God.